There is an old saying that one should not discuss religion, politics or money in polite society but if you really want to clear a room try talking about death and dying. No other topic produces such fear and denial as the prospect of death.

A new film, “Holding Our Own, Embracing the End of Life” by Vermont filmmaker Camilla Rockwell takes a look at this difficult topic. This film profiles artist Deidre Scherer and the Hallowell Chorus of Vermont. For Rockwell this film is “about bringing together art and music, to gently seduce people to discuss this topic that no one wants to talk about.”

Rockwell herself is afraid of death and this film allowed her to face that fear. “Baby boomers are dealing with their parents dying and they are no longer young and not yet what is considered old,”according to Rockwell.

Rockwell weaves together the story of Scherer and the Hallowell Chorus with a series of images and interviews with people expressing their views on the life cycle and our own mortality. This life affirming film confirms that whether your beliefs on death and an afterlife are religious or scientific based that the common thread is that everyone feels that not being alone and being supported by the community in your final days is how your cycle of life should be completed. This film shows that they dying are not dead, they are living and have emotions and personalities unique to them until their final moments.

Scherer is an artist that portrays people in their final days. Though some may view her work as depressing, Scherer considers it an honor. The artist gets joy from her work because she feels she gets to witness something miraculous "this absolute preciousness of one person, a soul, a spirit leaving, an energy that you won’t see in that configuration ever again. You’ll only have what you can remember of it. You only have that person in your heart.”

After making this film Rockwell will “never pass an older person on the street without looking at the face and wondering where did the lines on their face come from.” Dr. Ira Byock, author of “Dying Well” and Director of Palliative Medicine at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center echoes Rockwell. Byock says in the film that “as I sit with people who are elderly, I’m often aware that they are elderly to me but, from behind their eyes, the world is just the world. They are still the same person that they were really as a child, but also as a teenager, a young adult, a middle aged adult and a senior citizen.”

For Byock there are worse things than dying, such as dying badly. For him dying badly is when someone “dies feeling abandoned or feeling that no one cares, feeling isolated and alone…in contrast, a person who dies from the reluctant arms of community, dies having been waked out of life, with family and friends around them from my perspective, feels like a success.” Dying is a part of living and for Byock “our life doesn’t end when we are quote unquote dying. In fact it’s a valuable time of life that really we need to reclaim.”

The celebration of the life cycle is never more evident than when Rockwell turns to the Hallowell Chorus. This Chorus goes to individuals who are dying and sings for them. This chorus works with hospice to bring comfort and peace to those actively dying and their families. Hallowell founder Kathy Leo talks about how the chorus has helped those people who are not ready to die find some peace and comfort through their singing. For Leo she never leaves feeling depressed when singing for the dying, “ It’s a wonder and I love that it allows you to feel everything. You know it opens your heart to everything, you can feel love, you can feel joy, you can feel sorrow, but you feel so alive! Maybe that’s what it is, that you feel the blessing of your own life.” The Hallowell Chorus has generated 10 choruses in the state including the NOYANA singers of the VNA’s Hospice of the Champlain Valley. The NOYANA Chorus will benefit from a screening of the film at Champlain College.

Rockwell was “struck by the faith by Deidre and Kathy, faith in the natural cycle and their comfort with that.” Leo takes issue with the notion that grief has a time limit and that people should get over it. As Leo explains, “people can grieve for a long time and in many different ways and it comes and goes. It has a real flow to it.”

For Rockewell this film is for everyone. For people who are afraid of dying, people who are dealing with aging parents, caregivers, hospice workers, and those in health care. The hope is that this film will allow people to start having the conversation about death and dying and celebrating life. Holding Our Own, Embracing the End of Life was made possible by the support of the Paul Newman Foundation and the Home Instead Senior Care Foundation.

“Holding Our Own, Embracing the End of Life” screening

Featuring Ira Byock, Deidre Scherer and the Hallowell Chorus
To benefit the NOYANA Singers

June 12 & June 15 - 7:00pm
Alumni Auditorium
Champlain College
Tickets $12
Information 864-6263
www.holdingourown.com

Sarah Lemnah writes on senior issues for the Champlain Valley Agency on Aging. This article originally appeared in the Burlington Free Press.